Swiping is all about pictures, right? Wrong. Humans aren’t that shallow (OK maybe a little but not THAT shallow). You need a tinder bio. Like seriously.
*This article is written to help the poor godforsaken men of tinder get more swipes and the tone of it is geared towards guys, but the same tricks can and should be used by women as well.
This is part of a series of articles geared towards figuring out tinder and getting you dates. Here’s what else you need to know:
The vicious cycle of girls swiping above guys
Why do you need a bio? Well, last year there was a tonne of research analysing the behaviour of 230k male and 250k female profiles. They found that males are less selective than females in terms of matches (shocker) and therefore, women get more matches. This leads to a feedback loop where men become even less selective in the hope of getting a match and woman get bombarded with matches so become increasingly selective, because they know that they’ll match with mostly any guy they swipe right on, thus leading to a vicious cycle. Sounds pretty hopeless for the poor average Joe’s, right?
Well, these dudes also found that your chances of getting a match increase fourfold if you have a bio. And that’s just any bio. If I’m sifting through 100 profiles a day and 30 of them don’t have bios and 66 of them have shitty bios and yours is one of the 4 that has a fantastic bio, I will most certainly swipe right and thank you for saving me from this avalanche of idiots.
Why wouldn’t you have a tinder bio?
30% of males on tinder don’t have a tinder bio. In fact, a lot of idiots don’t have one – you may be one of them. This is because:
- They think it’s too try-hard.
- They don’t know what to write for their tinder bio.
- They can’t spell.
- They’re just not bothered.
Let’s just take a moment to get real here.
- It is NOT try-hard! We want to infer your personality to start a conversation and check the chemistry level. Gone are the days when tinder was solely for hook-ups – you will look stupid without a bio, not with one. Use the tools Tinder has blessed you with.
- OK so this is a genuine issue and there are solutions for it (see below) so don’t worry!
- Um so go on Microsoft Word and use spell check? Maybe even read through it after? Make a habit of texting in full sentences using actual words; you are not an 18-year-old wannabe gangsta. You could even get a friend to check your masterpiece once you’re done. With all the resources we have in today’s world, there is no excuse for shit spelling and grammar in formal documents, such as tinder bios.
- This is the worst. Even if you are just after a hook-up, you’re way more likely to get laid if you have a tinder bio. And if you want to date, then what are you thinking? Not having a bio shows that you’re unwilling to make an effort to show yourself in the best possible light or start a conversation – not a good look.
Take it from me. I get a shit tonne of dates you can read about HERE. Yeah, I’m a woman and that helps. But looking intelligent and standing out helps too.
I don’t know what to write – HELP!
So what do we put in to make that awesome, ladykilling, award-winning tinder bio? Well let’s share some things that work and most definitely don’t work in Tinderland. Remember, the bio, like your tinder pictures (read more on how to get those right HERE) is essentially a marketing stunt – if it doesn’t work, it’s not a personal thing against you – just means you need to change some stuff.
There’s loads of examples here but whatever you do – DON’T COPY THEM word for word! We know when you do – these bios are on the internet and I’ve seen some of them personally when swiping. How many more men is the New York Times going to refer to as “One hell of a guy?” Seriously don’t be a sheep – this is inspiration to help you get the gist of what works when you’re stuck. The trick is to take the format but personalize it ;).
1. Have a catchy first line.
Whether you’re writing an advert, a novel or a Tinder bio, one thing’s for sure – you need a standout first line. If I spend up to 77 minutes a day (shock horror) swiping, passing through countless faces a day and am then interested enough in you to tap on your picture and check out the bio, then I WANT it to catch my attention and not be like the other avalanche of idiots.
This is intriguing and I want to know what exactly those things are for you.
I like cats and cute animals and the randomness is intriguing.
You seem like a smooth operator. The precision of the numbers and the word ‘rogue’ gets my attention. I actually edited The Pirate Box Of Chocolate‘s bio after establishing that we’re in an open relationship and put this as a starter for his bio, followed by other stuff. It works a charm apparently.
2. Show your interests.
Walking around with a hot dude that has nothing to talk about will eventually get tiresome (I said eventually). Show that you have interests you can talk about and can engage in a good convo. More on interests can be found in the bit about tinder picture ideas HERE.
Simply stating: ‘IT| tennis| wine| travel’ is kind of boring and I see it a lot. I’d like to know what you sound like (virtually, at least), so a little elaboration… Or maybe even a sentence if I’m really lucky would be nice.
Just one random thing is enough to spark curiosity and it’s funny. I will be likely to initiate a thumb wrestling match or suggest one for a first date.
This list is long but it uses random things for humour. It also highlights desirable qualities e.g. height and being sensitive (big spoon), responsible (uncle), being a good cook, caring (animal lover), fun-loving (the Monopoly thing and Disneyworld regular thing), not broke (owner of a car), healthy (gym goer), brave (spider killer) and well-groomed (best hair where I work).
Find out what women want in men and make your own funny list like this. (Ladies do the same the other way round…)
This list kills so many birds and swipes with one stone. The layout is a great idea (see below on why) and it highlights interests that are also desirable traits – cooking, fitness, good fashion sense and bravery. It also includes the all important Call To Action (see below on what a CTA is and why it’s a big deal) by slyly implying that you need to swipe right. A huge win here.
You don’t need to write ‘hobbies’ or ‘interests’ if you think that’s boring. I mean, The Quantum Physicist wrote a list of ‘keywords’ that he found important in his bio and that stood out when I was swiping in Taipei.
3. Be funny.
Why do women like funny guys? It shows intelligence, shows a sense of shared perspective and laughing physically triggers de-stressing hormones and we all love a guy that doesn’t stress us out. How to be funny is another matter, but doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it out to be.
Take the piss out of the whole system whilst creating a pretty picture in your tinder bio and go all-out. Then reveal something about yourself. Note how the later stuff about science fair trophies is also light-hearted.
Grab attention by evoking shock and disgust – about 30% of guys on tinder are married after all. Then this pokes fun at the whole situation and becomes adorable by assuring us he’s a nice nerdy guy and not one of the villains. Then it adds a dash of self-deprecation for good measure.
4. Be creative
Why? Because there are over 50 million profiles out there and about 67.8% of them are men. Don’t be like the other 33.9 million. We want to know that you’ve thought about your tinder bio and put some effort into making it, because guys who make an effort are worth us making an effort for.
This is a whole friggin’ short story. But it’s gripping with a ridiculous plot and plenty of cheap thrills. Top Tip: DO NOT COPY IT word for word! It’s actually Aziz Ansari describing his perfect date. And I’ve seen a couple of guys with this exact paragraph (Except the bit where it says his name) as their bio. Go make up your own gripping thriller.
Yeah I know, we’ve all seen this lucky tinder bio on the internet, but it went viral for a reason. It took something romantic and made it into a horror film. Make your own psycho story using this starter that I just made up: “I enjoy candlelit dinners and staring into the eyes of a beautiful woman; until…”
5. Make it simple to read
When do you swipe? I do on the toilet, between work and Netflix mainly; I’m not looking for a dissertation, but something I can process quickly. Making a bio clear and simple to read shows you have good communication skills and can get a point across without a lot of hassle.
Simple and clean-cut. Gets all the necessary info to attract people with similar interests packed in 3 sentences, keeping it short and sweet.
People like lists, because we can skim-read them; especially on a screen. He’s also been clever to highlight good qualities in a funny way and his cons are not even cons – Nobody is Channing Tatum, shower songs are a good thing and so is Southern fried chicken.
This old chestnut. It’s relatable, because we see quotes all the time. If I’m reading this in a lunch-break, I would laugh, because it’s taking something I know and giving it a tinder twist. WARNING: Don’t copy the usual quotes by the ‘Anonymous Tinder woman’ or ‘New York Times’ stuff too much – seen it before and it’s getting old now.
6. End with a Call to Action
Tinder is a marketplace and I keep emphasizing that for a goddam reason. If we look at your profile as an advert of you, then it needs to have a CTA to tell your reader what to do, i.e. swipe right. Just by telling us to swipe, you’re making us visualize and want to swipe. CTAs are crucial in marketing and we see them everywhere – here are some effective examples.
As well as the persuasive factor, we need to know that you’re interested in us and not that guy who will just talk about himself for the whole date. As your CTA, why not ask a question?
Sure, I’d love to go on an adventure and try windsurfing! I also like how you’re clearly telling me what to do – a show of confidence.
Mmmmm you’re tapping into my food cravings, releasing my dopamine as well as highlighting a shared interest in dessert and making me way more likely to engage with you. Yummy.
So, to sum up:
- Have a catchy first line
- Make up something funny/creative/amazing by taking inspo from the examples above, NOT copying them.
- End with a CTA
Really really don’t copy these…
1. Spelling mistakz.
This makes you look like: a fuckboy, a 16 year old freaky-Fridayed into a 30 year old’s body, you don’t care, you don’t know what spellcheck it, you let a five-year-old write it or you’re just plain stupid. Bad spelling and grammar is such a turn off too – Zoosk found that out of 9000 people, 72% identify it as a deal breaker. Whoa. But it’s easy to fix – Just check it after you’ve written it or get a friend to if you’re not 100% confident in your grammar Nazi level.
2. Just listing personal facts or making your tinder bio a CV
This is so common, it makes me cry. Age, height, job, full-stop. It just looks lazy and GQ agrees with me here – see the above points on how to make your bio creative as fuck.
3. Diss tinder
Saying “I’m only here, because my friend told me this app was good” translates too “I’m too good for this place and you’re all losers”. We’re here too and don’t want to be labelled as desperate. And unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll know about ‘this app’ without ‘your friend’ having to tell you.
4. Too many emojis
The smiley face means you’re happy, the celebration hands mean what…excitement? The beer mugs means you’re into beer and the globe means you think you’re well-travelled. And no, I don’t want to see your aubergine. One or two emojis are good more makes your profile a hieroglyphic script I need to decipher. Call me old fashioned, but I’d rather have sentences.
5. Just saying “Just ask 😉”
Like, what the hell am I meant to ask you about bro? Give me something to go on..!
6. Just writing your Snapchat, Instagram Kik etc. usernames.
Are you a social media robot? Assuming that I will cease my swiping just to make an effort and stalk you on different platforms makes you annoying and arrogant. Left.
7. Just saying “I’m no good with bios”
TRY GODAMMIT. Stop being so lazy and read my article!
8. Your tinder bio is negative.
Saying what your deal breakers are before you even match makes you look arrogant as fuck. Stuff like “Swipe left if you’re a drama queen” is just plain rude. The same goes to girls when they write shit like “Applicants under 6 feet need not apply” – would you say that in real life?
Don’t command people to message you first – you come across as rude and controlling. I’m perfectly fine with sending the first message, but not being ordered to. And what do you have against messaging first? It looks like you’re scared or arrogant or both if you’re hostile to making a first move.
1. It’s so graphic that Alexis Texas would blush.
Yeah, I know who she is. If you’re on here to DTF, make it classy at least by saying “Just looking for something casual” instead of “I’m gonna cum in your face”. Also, please don’t be gross and do that whole “I would drag my balls through broken glass just to smell your farts” thing – I really don’t know why that went viral; it’s disgusting and makes me imagine bleeding balls.
Damn right you got more homework (see the tinder pictures article HERE for the first exercise). Today, you will copy down all the main points that make a GOOD bio (a catchy first line, showing interests, being funny, being creative, making it simple to read and ending with a call to action). Then you’re going to brainstorm some ideas of what you could do and what kind of simple and creative format you’ll use. THEN you are going to write a bitching bio and SIGN UP to my mailing list below, so that you can have it reviewed for FREE by none other than moi. And if you thought this was helpful, then make the world a better place and share this on social media ;).
Why are you still here? Get to work! You have LOADS to do before we get to messaging…