Dating In Taipei: #The Kinky Brown Girl Hater

His first tinder picture was a gym selfie. Why? Just why. But I had a sneaking intuition that Kinky Brown Girl Hater was much more than an iron pumper, as it said he was a ‘Founder and Managing director’ and his other pics showed him speaking to a TV camera in a suit and on an army tank. Interesting. He had also super-liked me, which is an ego boost.

kinky brown girl hater gym
The great debate on gym selfies: Hot or narcissistic? Find out what I think about this topical issue HERE.

Date of the Date: 04/09/2017

Location: Taipei, Taiwan

First Impressions of The Kinky Brown Girl Hater:

“Woah there, those pictures do not do you justice.” He had a fantastic chest. His gym selfie really didn’t serve the purpose, because it showed him pouting sideways and flexing his bicep – completely missing the main attraction! I am a sucker for chests/torsos and when I see a nice rack, I have to remind myself not to stare and perv unnecessarily.

Kinky Brown Girl Hater was wearing a red polo short that accentuated his chest very nicely and he had a sharp haircut. He was smiley and his body language was confident and smooth (but not icky). And an American accent.  As one of the first brown guys I’d seen in Taipei, I felt some sort of deep-rooted connection triggered by our shared ancestry. Did I mention he had a nice chest?

kinky brown girl hater chest

Where:

Wualo Hotpot in Zhongshan. I reserved a table at 9.30pm. The ambiance was very nice in the restaurant and we had our own private booth. So, despite having to wait a while to get in, Wulao Hotpot made it to my list of the Best Date Spots In Taipei.

Convo:

We talked about what we had done in Taiwan so far (I didn’t mention I was a serial dater on a dating spree) and I learnt that he was here for an important sounding conference. He also ran an NGO, was studying for the bar in his spare time and had rubbed shoulders with the Obamas and Clintons, because of what he does (won’t give it away). He was only in his mid-thirties. Dude had his shit together…

We talked about North Korea and then I told him what my limited knowledge recalled of Taiwan’s history. We also discussed why India was unsafe to visit but great for business right now. Kinky Brown Girl Hater was actually from the same city my parents are originally from. Talk about the odds…

kinky brown girl hater charminar

So, why was he a brown girl hater? Just to make it clear; there is no racism involved here. He was just one of those brown guys that only dated white girls. Yep, you know the type.  Apparently, us brown girls just want to get married ASAP and cannot possibly date without drama. Little did he know what was in store… He had super-liked me, because he wanted to change this mindset and proceeded to tell me I was the coolest brown girl he had met and shattered his pre-existing prejudice against my kind. Hmmm. Those stereotypes are really dumb. But I can’t lie and say I wasn’t flattered on being ‘The One’ to alter his thoughts with my brains and good looks. Go brown girl team!

So then I ripped into his gym selfie.

indian aunty

At the end of the date, he wasn’t too pushy, unlike Mr Zero-To-One Hundred and we cheek-kissed/hugged. Kinky Brown Girl Hater knew how to play the long game

Food and Drink:

An amazing hotpot filled with different meats and a delicious broth – it was way too much to eat in one sitting, so we got a takeaway and my share lasted me three breakfasts (yeah, I’m cheap and what?!) We also had Mango beers and a complimentary dessert shot.

He Wore:

That lovely red t shirt. And trousers probably. But I was mainly focused on the shirt and chest.

I Wore:

Date dress 1, the blue and white one.

The Verdict:

A solid 9/10. I was really comfortable and it was fun, with great convo.

So then what happened?

So  then, we met up after he met the Taiwanese President (as you do). He was going to take me as a date to this fancy event, but it was too late to add anyone to the guest list (dammit).

kinky brown girl hater president

And then umm you can kind of guess why he came to be known as ‘Kinky’... All I’m saying is there’s a hierarchy of how good a guy is in bed. Levels in fact. And Kinky Brown Girl Hater was on the Ninja Mastery Level before he headed back to the States. It’s all about intuition, experience and physical fitness.

channing tatum magic mike
Channing has competition…

Kinky Brown Girl Hater was an awesome guy and my friends are confused about how I know it was just a fling and couldn’t have been something more. As a brown girl, I know that brown parents all around the world would kill for this type of guy to marry their daughters. Seriously, he is perfect arranged marriage material. I know for a fact that my own parents would certainly be impressed with him. And I got on with him and sex was great.

kinky brown girl hater arranged marriage

But I sensed that deep down he had a little seed of ruthlessness that I didn’t have – it’s not a bad thing; it’s gotten him this far in life and will lead him to bigger and better successes. In the three days I spent with him, my instinct told me that we had different emotional needs and handled deep emotions differently. In a long-term partner, I need someone who can patiently understand my deepest insecurities, feels better by motivating me and who can push me out of my darkest moods. Kinky Brown Girl Hater is still searching for the perfect girl.

I ended up revealing my secret identity to him (I can’t sleep with someone and lie) and he was cool with it. So then I fixed his tinder profile and removed the goddam gym selfie. And I’ll Whatsapp this article to him when it’s done. Happy endings all round. 

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