Dating In Taipei: The Boring Artist

The Boring Artist seemed super edgy; his Instagram was filled with modern artwork and his Tinder pictures were mysterious. He messaged that he’d love to have a conversation and invited me to his studio while he worked. Usually, I would never agree to go to a guy’s place before first confirming that I liked him, but I’m a sucker for creativity and was intrigued. So, I told him to meet me in front of the station first; in order to ensure he wasn’t a rapist axe-murderer. A girl’s gotta take precautions… Read more on dating safety here – I know, I’m a filthy hypocrite…

Date of the date: 09.09.17

Location: Taipei, Taiwan

First impressions of The Boring Artist:

Friendly and not too brooding, as you might expect the aloof artist type to be. Had a tattoo of something like a wolf, so I asked about it and we talked about coyotes (that’s what it was) and how they’ll outlive humans, because they send out baby-making signals when their species are threatened. This was actually the best part of the whole evening.

boring artist coyote


His studio/place. Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have gone there on a first date. But I told him I wanted to see his work and my instinct didn’t feel threatened when I first saw him (still, I know it’s not the safest thing to do). But it was fine, because all Boring Artist wanted to do was talk.

talk too much


Doesn’t really count, because talking at me is not a conversation. Ironic that when I asked him about one of his paintings, he said it was about a conversation that people have – the two stripes on either side were extreme viewpoints and everything in-between was rational discussion. Interesting from someone who knew nothing about conversing.

Boring Artist told me about how in the US (he’s from Tennessee), people took viewpoints that were like caricatures and while he wasn’t pro-Trump, he thought that everyone should stop screaming and panicking and try and work with the situation at hand.  I agreed. He then told me about how he hated being labelled as a ‘white male’ and thought of himself as an individual who shouldn’t have to justify himself through categorization. I nodded but wasn’t given a chance to say anything. He proceeded to talk about Trump for half an hour. I tried and failed to change the subject and my interest began to die a slow and painful death.

boring artist trump card

What followed was a monologue of over an hour in which Boring Artist spewed various philosophical thoughts at me. Was he trying to impress me, or get his ‘white male problems’ off his chest? Let me make this clear: I’m not dumb and I enjoy philosophy, but if you’re going to keep saying things like “there is no gravity without pain” really fast and without any normal language in-between or stopping to let me speak, I won’t know what the hell is going on. I got very sleepy very fast.


I think the whole date was a subconscious excuse for Boring Artist to air his grievances with the world and talk to himself in the company of a female. He wasn’t a bad guy and I’m sure he didn’t mean to, but Boring Artist bored me senseless. I told him I was going hiking the next morning and had to wake up at 6am (a lie) and that’s when he looked a bit sheepish, as if worried he had bored me. Yup, well the damage was done. So I practically ran back to my place and the safety of Netflix and breathed a sigh of relief. He texted the next day and asked about the hiking. I gave a few one word answers before permanently ignoring him.

girl ignoring

I loved his couches though – they had tribal graffiti on them.

Food and drink:

I got some MacDonald’s for us to take to the studio and he got beers from the 7-eleven.

He wore:

Cool artsy t shirt with some sort of message on it, featuring an upside-down ballerina and dark jeans.

I wore:

A black t shirt and grey trousers

The verdict:

4/10. Thank God it’s over. Really he would do better if he got over himself a bit – he’s not bad looking. And he certainly knows how to talk – just not how to have a conversation.


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