The Anti-Italian took the stereotypical picture of romantic Italian guys out of my head and threw it out, into the open bins on my street in Palermo. After my date with The Poetic Doctor, I suspected that all Italian stallions would call me ‘Bella’, comment inexhaustibly on my eyes, ears and nose and of course, recite poetry. I was really expecting someone like THIS. Nope. Not The Anti-Italian.
His first tinder message was in the form of a covering letter asking for an interview. It was in perfect English (unlike a lot of other Sicilian Tinderos) and super smooth. I played along and expected there to be some sparks, because hey, he seemed to have a sense of humour and be articulate.
Date of the date: 07/11/17
Location: Palermo, Sicily
First Impressions of the Anti Italian:
A little bit scruffy and tired. Ah shit. I was expecting this to be a good date and so had worn a nice dress, which made me feel a little overdressed when I saw him. His jacket was OK but his jeans were really light and faded. Effort is a turn-on and it was lacking here.
The Anti-Italian was very cynical and just NOT typically ‘romantic’ – which was a a nice change from The Poetic Doctor. However, when The Anti-Italian started talking, it was mainly about himself, rather than trying to engage me in a conversation. I think he was trying to show me how good his English was. So I was polite, but not really that into him. And starting to get tired. But after we sat down in the restaurant and had some wine, it seemed to get better. Was he improving his dating skills, or was it the wine? I’d say a bit of both. Sicilian wine is magical after all.
I met the Anti-Italian at the corner of Via Napoli, where I was based and then walked around for a while, because we weren’t super hungry. At about 8.30 pm we stepped into Napule è – A very Italian pizza place which was charming, had nice music and gingham table cloths. We were lucky enough to arrive when nobody else was there (it’s not bang in the centre of town) and the service was great. I’d recommend it for a date, so it’s on my list of the best Date Spots in Palermo.
After pizza, we headed over to the Vucciria market to get more wine. More wine was good. Then The Anti-Italian took me to the top of the Rinascente shopping centre where we had a lovely view of the city from the balcony outside. And you know what? With all that wine, I kissed him.
Before the restaurant the convo was mainly about him and how Anti-Italian had travelled a lot, mainly throughout Eastern Europe and how he was doing really well renting properties out on Airbnb. Good for you dude. He also liked meetups, socializing with Erasmus people and couchsurfing. Great. In an ordinary conversation, this would have been nice to know. But it seemed he wasn’t really interested in anything I had done. This prompted me to ask “What happened to the interview?”
So then I think Anti-Italian may have realized that he was talking too much. Or maybe the wine made him a better listener. Either way, the restaurant made us vibe a bit more. Or maybe it was that I forced my way into the conversation to stop me getting too bored and it worked. Anyway. The moral of the story is to talk AND listen on a date. It’s a tennis match and I don’t just want to be hit relentlessly by your monologues. Here’s 101 conversation starters to help you out with making it a two-way thing.
At one point we were talking about types of people we dated and agreed that we didn’t have a ‘type’ as such. The Anti-Italian asked what I thought when I met him. Outfit-wise. Hmm. Weird question. I decided to tell the truth and said usually men wear darker jeans on a date. He seemed to take that well… I’d probably advise guys not to ask what we think of them unless you’re certain it’s going well… otherwise it could be awkward.
It was much easier to talk with him than with The Poetic Doctor, once he started listening, because we could understand each other without a language barrier. We both thought it was a good idea not to pressurize chemistry and to give compliments you actually mean, rather than showering them on your date. I kind of liked The Anti-Italian but wasn’t sure if I actually did and could tell he was hitting on me. Decisions, decisions. So then I went to the top of the Rinascente and kissed him. We only live once…
Food and drink:
I had a Versuvius pizza with salami and it was yummy. We had a whole bottle of white wine and then some more wine from the market, which was only €2 a glass, but was very good and tasted of plum.
A nice top and jumper. Nice watch. But light-coloured faded jeans. Bad move.
A purple dress with a snakeskin pattern on it (but not made out of snakes) and boots with a camel coat.
7.5/10. After a shaky start, I grew to enjoy this date and the kiss was good. Find out what makes a good kiss here. The wine was also fantastic, I think you’ve gathered that.
So then what happened?
So then I was unsure if I liked The Anti-Italian. And agreed to go to his place and have dinner with him….. Aaaand ended up sleeping with him (yes, there was more wine). And like, he was good at sex, but I came to the conclusion that I just wasn’t that into him. Knowing that made me feel bad about leading him on. So the next day I was deciding whether to ghost him or tell him the truth. I’m glad that I decided not to be a dick and tell him that I was ‘not ready to date’. I mean, a white lie is better than ignoring someone, right? That inspired me to come up with 20 texts to send instead of ghosting. Take a look if you’re in a similar situation…
I learnt 2 lessons from 2 dates with The Anti-Italian:
- Don’t sleep with people you’re not 100% sure about (I know, I KNOW. But sometimes it needs to be said…).
- Don’t ghost. It’s shitty. It feels better to text something to someone you’re not into and not have a guilty conscience.
Do you think I did the right thing? Let me know in the comments or shoot me an email :). It’s OK, I know it’s a controversial topic and you might disagree, but hey ho.