20 Bad Tinder Profiles in Taipei

Ah bad tinder profiles. They’re like White Walkers or a zombie apocalypse… No matter how much you swipe left to kill them, they just keep coming. But we can all learn a shit-tonne from them on what NOT to do, if you don’t want me and fellow swipers looking for dateable males to run for the hills screaming.

Location: Taipei, Taiwan.

Listen up Taipei dudes – Dinosaur footprints, unicorn condoms and baby penises don’t turn me on and I can safely say I haven’t met anyone yet with a fetish for them. So if you’re reading this and find yourself featured, maybe change your bad tinder profiles – Here, this will help

Anyway, on to the top 20 of Taipei…

Bad Tinder Profile 1: Condom Skillz

bad tinder profiles taipei unicorn

Bad Tinder Profile 2: My Ripped Friend

bad tinder profiles taipei hot friend

Bad Tinder Profile 3: Knife to know you…

bad tinder profiles taipei knife to know you

Bad Tinder Profile 4: Bro, do you even vape?

bad tinder profiles taipei vape

Bad Tinder Profile 5: When he wore a Niqab

bad tinder profiles taipei flight attendant

Bad Tinder Profile 6: Love in an Elevator

bad tinder profiles taipei elevator

Bad Tinder Profile 7: Flatpack or Fatpack?

bad tinder profiles taipei backpack

Bad Tinder Profile 8: Douchebaggery Central

bad tinder profiles taipei car selfie

Bad Tinder Profile 9: A Dino-Date

bad tinder profiles taipei footprint

Bad Tinder Profile 10: Agent Smith’s Revenge?

bad tinder profiles taipei clones

Bad Tinder Profile 11: Here, have some food

bad tinder profiles taipei food

Bad Tinder Profile 12: What A Nightmare…

bad tinder profiles taipei freddy krueger

Bad Tinder Profile 13: Fuck the game!

bad tinder profiles taipei fuck you

Bad Tinder Profile 14: My Preciousss…

bad tinder profiles taipei gollum

Bad Tinder Profile 15: Hey Grandpa!

bad tinder profiles taipei grandpa

Bad Tinder Profile 16: Say Cheese!

bad tinder profiles taipei inception

Bad Tinder Profile 17: Because PVC is sexy, right?

bad tinder profiles taipei leggings

Bad Tinder Profile 18: Likes poking fingers.

bad tinder profiles taipei poke eyes

Bad Tinder Profile 19: Please add me…

bad tinder profiles taipei snapchat

And my personal favourite…

Bad Tinder Profile 20: My Baby Penis

bad tinder profiles taipei baby

Lessons to be learned from these bad tinder profiles:

  1. Have a picture of you. Like you, the actual human.
  2. Don’t colour over it to turn yourself into Freddy Krueger or hide a hot friend or make yourself a Snapchat ghost.
  3. Aggressively poking and swearing is kind of scary.

And if you’re doing all that (well done!) and are still struggling with matches, then here’s some handy tools to help with making utterly irresistible tinder pictures and a tinder bio. Oh yeah, here’s how to message and here’s some more tinder hacks. You’re fucking welcome. What are you waiting for – go fix your profile and don’t forget to subscribe below if you want free personalized advice from me.

Coming soon – my tinder dates in Taipei (these dudes had decent profiles) – read about the Penang ones here.

Happy swiping…


Sign up for exclusive offers and info I don’t share here (like £25 off your next Airbnb). PLUS crank up your Tinder profile game like a pro for FREE.


  1. Reena says:

    OMG thank you for making my night bearable. This made me laugh a lot. What is wrong with TWesw men??

    1. Zainab says:

      Haha to be fair there are a lot of perfectly nice guys in Taipei too. But yeah, unicorn condoms are also around in the tindersphere… Glad you enjoyed it Reena 🙂

Comments are closed.